I am the Daughter of Alcoholics

I started college and was surprised to see how shocked my friends are when I had told them that I never had alcohol in my life. It’s like I’m not a real college student because I don’t get drunk. The thing is that many people don’t understand my relationship with alcohol and the trauma I have attached to it. Alcohol and drunk people can trigger flashbacks to scarring scenes from my childhood because through the eyes of an innocent bright-eyed six-year-old, I watched alcohol tear my family apart. 

I could tell you my whole story; how I use to come home from school and find my mom passed out on the floor or when my dad got black-out drunk on Christmas. I could tell you about how my mom only has half of a functional brain or that losing my dad broke my heart before any boy ever could. But this is not my sob story; this is how I rewrote my history. No one knows my full story, just bits and pieces. I don’t talk about my past that much for a reason, statistically, I was supposed to amount to nothing. Yet, I always knew I was meant for more. 

I did everything right and followed all the rules. I’ve always been a goody-two-shoe and committed myself to excel in school. I’ve always been mature and independent, I knew from a very young age that I was in control of my future. I graduated high school with honors and at the top of my class. I was smart, just like my mom. The fear comes because smart wasn’t enough to keep my mom sober. The thing that always gave me meaning in my life was that I had vision and ambition to make a change, and lead a very passionate life. A successful and fulfilling future is my priority and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize what I’m meant to do in this world. 

Yet I still desire to value my youth and have a normal college experience. So, next time you see me out at a party and wonder why I’m never drunk, now you know. Most importantly, I’m very content with who I am. I possess no judgment towards my friends who do enjoy going out and getting drunk. I love them dearly and I don’t define them by what they do for fun because they value more in life than drinking. I can tell that they have a bright future ahead of them. I’ll never judge you, all I ask is the same from you. 

One thought on “I am the Daughter of Alcoholics

  1. This is amazing. Someone who does not conform to the norms and uses her past to change her perspective. That is worthy of so much praise. I have a history with alcoholism so I can relate and understand why you make these choices!

    Like

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