I can tell you that it’s okay not to be okay every day of your life. But until you can accept that you need to heal your mind, you won’t be able to find mental happiness. I’m writing this for myself just as much as I’m writing this for you. The mind is a messy place, and only you can heal yourself. The mind is what is holding onto years of pain and unprocessed emotions. A broken heart causes pain, but it is the mind that needs to be convinced to let go of that pain.
By rejecting healing, you are bringing in fear of emotion and unhealthy coping mechanisms. You are allowing your brain to hold onto past trauma, which often leaves people afraid to fully feel all their feelings. In turn, this brings in unhealthy coping mechanisms as an attempt for the brain to cover up those unfelt emotions. The damaging part is that until you start healing, you don’t know what these toxic emotions are in your life.
I’ve recently realized that my toxic emotion is anger; no one can genuinely bring anger out of me. I never thought anything of it because it didn’t seem like a negative trait, which it’s not. However, I’ve come to realize that I don’t get angry because I’m scared of hurting someone I care about in effect. My toxic emotion stems from past trauma, leaving me with an unhealthy coping mechanism of laughing instead of expressing anger. Instead, I keep the anger bundled inside, which isn’t healthy for the mind.
I tend to work on this not to be a more angry person, but for the sake of my healing. Certain things about yourself can only be discovered by allowing yourself to heal, and those are the things that are holding you back from fully being in touch with yourself and finding mental happiness.